How Kids Really Learn to Pay Attention
Do you ever hand your kid a worksheet and they just sit there, not really doing it?
They're not being defiant. They just can't seem to get started or stay with it.
A study following over 2,300 kids found that more screen time by age five meant a lot more attention problems. It's not that screens are bad — it's that focus is something kids build, based on what they practice every day.
This month, we're talking about focus.
THIS WEEK’S RECOMMENDATION
Our Hero Intelligence Teacher Tammy will be bringing a new member into her Kindergarten Masterclass — a cuddle+kind bunny named Clover!
Tammy and Harmony Hare have always taught children about self-talk together. Clover fits right in — she's all about peace and helping others, which makes her a perfect new friend.
Every cuddle+kind doll is hand-knit, and every one sold provides 10 meals to a child who needs them. We'll be bringing you more from cuddle+kind throughout the month.
Want to open the box with us? Hit play below and meet Clover and friends for the first time.
If there's a little one in your life who could use something soft to hold onto, cuddle+kind is offering REK readers 15% off with code KID15, now through September 25, 2026 — a sweet gift that helps feed a child somewhere else too.
HERO STORY
Checkmate in the Chaos
In 2018, a seven-year-old named Tani learned chess while living with his family in a homeless shelter in Manhattan.
They'd fled Nigeria after threats from Boko Haram, and his parents worked wherever they could.
Tani practiced whenever he could, usually in the shelter's loud, crowded common room.
A year later, he won the New York State chess championship for his age group — up against kids who'd been playing far longer than him.
Tani didn't have a quiet place to practice. He just kept practicing anyway.
Worth remembering on nights when your house is loud and homework isn't done. Focus doesn't need quiet. It just means sticking with something, noise and all.
THE TINY TRY
A Focus Move
Have you ever watched an athlete do the same small thing before they start — a breath, a stretch?
It's a cue that tells their brain: time to focus. Kids can build the same cue, using something behavior researcher BJ Fogg calls a tiny habit — three simple parts: something that already happens, one small new thing right after it, and a tiny celebration to help it stick.
This week, help your child build their own habit recipe:
After I _______ (anchor: sit down at my desk, open my backpack, finish a snack)
I will ________ (30 sec habit: take 3 breaths, crack my knuckles, say a quiet phrase)
Then I'll ______ (celebrate! Fist pump, pat myself on the back, say "let's go")
Here's one to get you started: After I sit down at my desk, I will take three deep breaths, then I'll give myself a fist pump.
It doesn't have to be fancy. It just needs to be theirs, and something they do every time.
Before you go…
You probably already suspect digital screens are pulling at your kid's focus. You're right. But the reason might not be the one you think and it's the same reason some of the very people who build our screens keep their own kids away from them. Watch this to find out.
Source: Adam Alter, Professor of Marketing and Psychology, NYU Stern School of Business
This week, notice what your kid is paying attention to — and what you are, too. It doesn't have to be a big moment. Small ones count more than we think, and they add up faster than you'd expect.
Here's to a week of a little more focus, and a lot more noticing.
Your friends at REK,
Adam & Matthew Toren, Sylvia Tam, and Tammy Vallieres
Our new member hub is live — free activities, conversation starters, and resources for your family. Access it here.
“Attention is the most basic form of love.”