How do you get a child to stick with something boring when something fun is sitting right next to them?
That's what psychologists Rachel White and Stephanie Carlson at the University of Minnesota wanted to find out. So they ran an experiment.
They gave 4- and 6-year-olds a dull job on a computer: press a button every time a picture of cheese popped up. Right next to them sat an iPad with a fun game. The kids could switch to the game any time they wanted.
Some of the kids were asked to pretend to be a hero while they worked. They even got a costume piece, like Batman's cape.
Those kids stuck with the boring job the longest. Researchers now call it the Batman Effect.
Halloween is Saturday, and kids everywhere are about to become someone else for a night.
So we're closing out Adaptive Strength month with a playful question: “what if a little pretending could help them keep going long after the candy's gone?”
HERO STORY
The Secret Dance Partner
Tate McRae interviewed by Sean Hill | The Edge Nights / rova
Tate McRae grew up in Calgary, Canada. She loved to dance. As a kid, she danced her way onto a big TV dance show.
Later, she started writing songs in her bedroom and sharing them online. Today she's a pop star who sings for crowds of 15,000 people.
But off stage, Tate says she's actually shy, calling herself "very introverted" and "awkward."
So how does a shy person walk out in front of 15,000 people? She lets someone else take a turn.
Tate has a name for her bold, confident side. She calls her Tatiana, who’s fearless. She dances big. She owns the stage. And when the show is over, Tate goes back to being Tate: quiet, thoughtful, and a little awkward.
Tate says having both sides shows "how a person can be so multifaceted." Multifaceted means having lots of sides, like a gem that sparkles in different directions.
Tatiana isn't a mask Tate hides behind. She's the brave part of Tate, with a name of her own.
We all have a brave part, too. Sometimes it just needs a name, a costume, or a hero to borrow.
THE TINY TRY
Borrow a Hero
What does your child say to themselves when something is hard and boring?
Maybe it's the homework that drags on. The piano practice. The LEGO cleanup that never seems to end.
Why it helps Stepping outside ourselves, even just by pretending, gives us a little distance from the frustration. In the Batman study, kids who talked about themselves using their own name ("Is Maya working hard?") also stuck with it longer than kids who said "Am I working hard?"
Want to give it a try? The next time your child is stuck, you might ask: "What would [your hero] do right now?"
For younger kids (5–9): Let the Halloween costume do double duty. Cape on for homework time. Every few minutes, ask, "Is [hero's name] still working hard?"
For older kids (10–17): Try talking to yourself by name instead: "Okay, Jordan. You've got this." It feels a little funny at first. Try it anyway.
Fair warning: they'll turn it around and ask what your hero would do so be ready!
Before you go…
As we wrap up October, we've tried four small things to work on our adaptability muscle:
Noticing the ordinary magic at dinner
Renaming the butterflies: "I'm excited!"
The supportive sentence: "This is hard. And I know you can handle it."
Borrowing a hero when things get tough
But before the costumes come out, one last movie-night treat: an Emmy-nominated short about a boy’s boring afternoon with Grandpa, until an old red wagon and a little pretending change everything.
Source: Brandon Oldenburg, director, Moonbot Studios
Next month, we'll explore a bigger question: who do they want to be when the costume comes off? That's Meaning-Making, and it starts next Sunday.
Happy Halloween, heroes. 🎃
Your friends at REK,
Adam & Matthew Toren, Sylvia Tam, and Tammy Vallieres
Our new member hub is live — free activities, conversation starters, and resources for your family. Access it here.
“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.”